Our challenge is the marriage bed. For a decade, I have been cheated on severally by my husband. I find myself continually forgiving and finding ways to get over it. It has been a tough one. Sometimes I win, other days I lose. A year ago, I gave him an ultimatum that the mind games, sexcapades must stop or I walk. He blamed me for the issues that I am not adventurous nor current on trending sexual practices. I offered to learn if he was willing to teach me. I bought adult movies and watched them academically( even though they make me very uncomfortable) but he is unwilling to try it out with me. He cant/doesn't get an erection with me even with serious foreplay but as soon as an X-rated movie is on, Boom! He's up. Soon as I make a move on it, it's gone.
Now he says he wants me to be an active participant in a threesome. I drew the line on it and said no dice. He began to withdraw from me, sleeps alone. We haven't had sex or sex play in well over 11months. I have prayed, cajoled, dressed sexy, talked sexy, walked sexy but it's just not happening.
I get so depressed and sad. I am not a beautiful woman by today's standards: I am curvy in all the right places and a size 14. I get approached by men regularly so I don't think I am physically repulsive.
I don't want to cheat on him, it simply is alien to my person. What do I do? I am 39 and he is 42.
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